Fun Casino Hire - Ace Of Diamonds

The death of George Smith aboard a cruise ship on July 5th, 2005, is it another cruise ship suicide or foul play?

George Smith was an American man who, while on his honeymoon in 2005, was reported to have fallen overboard and drowned. Due to his remains never being located and the suspicious details of his apparent death the case remains unsolved.
Background
George Allen Smith was born on October 3rd, 1978. At the age of 26 he had been helping his family run their liquor store in Cos Cob, Connecticut. Described as clean-cut and smart, George was planning to take over the running of the liquor store once he had married his Fiancé, Jennifer Hagel.
Jennifer Hagel was 25 in 2005 and was about to begin a job as a third grade teacher, she had studied and graduated from Roger William's university with a Masters in Education the year before.
The couple had married in June 2005 in what friends and family described as a the perfect story-book wedding at the Inn at Castle Hill, Newport, Rhode Island. For their honeymoon, the couple had decided to take a Mediterranean Cruise.
The Cruise Ship
The Cruise Ship that the newlyweds would be travelling one was the 'Brilliance of the Seas', the ship is a 90,000 Ton, 292 meter cruise ship operated by Royal Carribean Cruises and in 2005 was operating the Mediterranean route between Italy, Greece and Turkey.
With over 850 crew and capacity for more then 2,500 passengers on board, the ship is a large hotel complex at sea. The trip that George and Jennifer Smith elected to take was the longest of the trips offered at the time by the company, a two week round-trip that took in several stops in Italy, Greece and Turkey along the way.
The Events of July 5th 2005
The couple had boarded the ship with thousands of others in Barcelona, just a few days after their wedding in late June. They were said to be very happy and quickly made friends with some other couples, notably fellow honeymooners Paul and Galina Kvitnisky who described them as normal down to earth people who were great to talk to.
The Cruise Ship was travelling off the coast of Turkey on the night of July 4th. The Kvitniskys and the Smith's reportedly had dinner before going to the Casino around 1-2am on the morning of July 5th. The Kvitniskys later said that George was a competent gambler and with his Breitling watch and prosperous appearance he fit right in.
While at the casino George met up with a friend he had made on the trip named Josh Askin, he was teaching him to play craps and Josh's friends, cousins Zachary and Greg Rozenburg joined them with their friend Rusty Kofman. This was apparently interrupted when George noticed a cruise ship employee was getting close with his wife.
Witnesses later said that a Croupier named Lloyd Botah had been showing Jennifer a lot of attention as the night went on. A fellow cruise ship employee said that the nature of their relationship wasnt known to him but that what he had seen certainly went beyond professional boundaries.
When the casino closed at 2:30am, George, Jennifer, Lloyd, Josh, Zach, Greg and Rusty all headed for the disco, sitting at a table together the group had been reportedly drinking absinthe that had been smuggled onboard when George got into an argument with Lloyd Botah about his conduct around Jennifer. The argument reportedly moved to the dance floor and Jennifer and George had a loud argument infront of everyone before she kicked him in the groin and stormed out of the disco.
Lloyd Botah then left to follow Jennifer while a clearly drunk George was helped back to the table by the others. Shortly after the men were seen helping an unsteady George out of the disco. The 5 men walked back to George and Jennifer's Stateroom but when George saw that Jennifer wasnt there he became annoyed and set off to search for her, the other men later said they waited in the room until George returned and the men continued to drink.
Clete Hyman, the man staying in the room next to George and Jennifer, reported that there was loud noises coming from the room next door around 3am, he later explained it sounded like a party or loud card game and had reported the couple previously on the trip for making a racket.
Josh Askin, Greg and Zachary Rozenburg and Rusty Koffman all claim they left George alone in his room shortly after this complaint was made, Clete Hyman says he saw only three men leave the room at that time through his peep hole.
Clete Hyman said he had then tried to return to bed but within a few minutes heard a loud thud, assuming someone had knocked something over or drunkenly collapsed he went to sleep.
Jennifer Smith was found passed out drunk and lying in a hallway in another area of the ship by several crew members and was helped back to her room around 5am, she said that George wasnt there and she slept for a few hours before then waking in the morning and going to a spa despite not knowing where he was.
When questioned later about this lack of concern for her husband, Jennifer explained that they had both slept in other staterooms at different times on the trip so she had assumed he had spent the night somewhere else.
Before she had finished her massage at the spa, Jennifer Smith was paged over the ships intercom and summoned to her Stateroom. Blood had been found smeared on the canopy of a lifeboat that lay beneath the rooms balcony by a passing passenger and the ships captain had wanted to check that neither her or her husband had been injured.
It was at this time it was discovered George was no longer onboard the ship and the alarm was raised.
Investigation
Jennifer Smith was taken ashore along with Josh Askin and they were both questioned by Turkish police within 24 hours of George's disappearance. Jennifer was found to have an alibi though it wasnt made public what this was other then the moment the crew members found her passed out in a hallway around 5am.
Josh claimed that he and his 3 companions had returned to their rooms and ordered room service before staying up to watch tv, the Turkish police found that while calls had been made around the time they said, no food was recorded as having been delivered to them.
Josh then reboarded the cruise ship to continue the journey while Jennifer immediately flew back to the U.S. It was 48 hours later that George was declared likely drowned at sea, his remains were never found.
Josh, Greg, Zachary and Rusty were all expelled from the cruise ship several days later when they allegedly raped a female passenger and taped it on a camcorder they had with them. The Italian Police investigated this and once they reviewed the footage declared that no rape had occurred and the men and their families were put on a flight home.
George's family arrived in Europe by the end of the week, appearing on tv appealing for information and passing out flyers to cruise ship passengers, they criticised openly at the time Jennifer's actions in flying home so quickly and not returning with them. Jennifer and George's family both stated at the time that they believed George had been murdered.
Later Developments
George's family found Jennifer becoming more distant and argumentative with them as the months went by, they said that she once became angry that they had used a cropped photo of George with Actress Tara Reid instead of a photo that included her for missing posters and badges.
In 2006 the Family hired a private investigator, the investigator claimed they had information that indicated a video tape existed showing Jennifer having sex with other men prior to the night of George's disappearance, this tape failed to be located but some in the family have alleged it is in the possession of Royal Caribbean Cruises.
Josh, Greg and Zachary later appeared on Geraldo Rivera and maintained the same story they had already told, Rusty didnt appear.
In late 2006, Jennifer Hagel accepted a $1.1million settlement from Royal Caribbean Cruises, this was far beyond the legal required amount of $70,000 at the time. George's family criticised Jennifer for accepting the money and took her and Royal Carribean to court over the amount of money and the circumstances of the settlement, they alleged Jennifer was trying to avoid details of sexual affairs that occurred onboard during the cruise being made public. Jennifer stated shortly after receiving the settlement that George likely died as a result of a drunken accident.
The FBI became involved shortly after George's disappearance and began a lengthy investigation which found evidence that the Turkish Police had missed. Blood stains were located inside the cabin as well as on the balcony above the lifeboat canopy. Most telling for the investigation was that the blood stain on the canopy was in the distinctive shape of a man, an unusual thing to be found in accidents on cruise ships, typically little blood is left when someone falls from a cruise ship at sea but this seemed to suggest George had already been bleeding badly when he had landed on the canopy and then had slipped off into the sea.
The FBI investigation officially ended in 2015 finding they couldnt rule in the case in any way and returned an open finding. George's family immediately began petitioning the courts to refer the case to a new jurisdiction in order for it to be investigated.
Theories
George Accident
George was heavily intoxicated according to witnesses and cctv from the cruise ship on the night of July 5th, it is possible like in many circumstances of deaths on Cruise Ships that he had stumbled over the Balcony railing and to his death before eventually sliding off of the canopy and into the sea. This is disputed by his family but supported by the accounts of Josh, Greg, Zachary, Rusty and Jennifer.
George Suicide
George may have been despondent about Jennifer leaving the Disco with Lloyd Botah on the night of July 5th, once he was alone in the stateroom and began to sober up he could have been overcome with grief at the failing of his marriage and considering the alleged other sexual partners she had on the trip likely had become depressed and jumped from the balcony, in the dark he may not have seen the canopy below and lay there injured or dead for some time before falling from it into the sea.
George Murdered
George may have gotten into an altercation with whichever of the men had remained behind on the night of July 5th, Clete Hyman has said only 3 left but never publicly identified who he didnt see leaving. George may have been attacked or robbed by the man who stayed behind only to die and then be thrown from the balcony in an attempt to cover up the crime.
It has also been alleged that he may have gotten into an argument with Jennifer due to her whereabouts not being publicly known while the Turkish Police have said they were satisfied her movements had been accounted for.
Lloyd Botah had also been suggested as a suspect in the case as he and George had already almost come to blows earlier that morning, his whereabouts on July 5th after leaving the Disco have not been made public.
Regardless of the circumstances of his murder, Georges family supports the theory he met his end through foul play and people close to him that night have answers.
Jennifer Later Developements
Jennifer later went back to being known as Jennifer Hagel, left the search in 2007 and went to work at the Michael J Fox Foundation for Parkinsons Research in New York. She then moved to Fairfield, Connecticut to work with Near and Far Aid, a non-profit that supports the homeless.
In 2009, Jennifer Hagel married Jeff Agne, a Financial Advisor who worked in Global Healthcare Equities for Pinebridge Investments. The couple went on to have three children as of 2015, Jennifer's family said they couldnt be happier that she has moved on with her life.
The Death of Greg Rozenburg
15 years after George was lost at sea, Greg Rozenburg was murdered on the doorstep of his home by an unknown perpetrator or perpetrators. Police in Davie, Broward County, Florida said in September of 2020 that they hoped their continued investigation into Greg's death might reveal more about George's.
Conclusion
George Smith's case remains unresolved, it has torn family and friends apart and set different jurisdictions investigations at odds with each other. Without his remains being found it's unlikely a satisfactory conclusion could ever be reached in this case.
What do you believe happened to George Smith on July 5th, 2005?
Wikipedia Link
News Article
Photo of Bloodstained Canopy below balcony
submitted by Armchair_Detectives to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]

Ontario Stage 3 Reopening Megathread

As always this information comes straight from the official Government of Ontario's "Framework for Reopening Our Province". This is not meant to be a complete guide but only some information for a regular person to understand what's open and what isn't. This post will follow a similar format to the Stage 2 post. This post will be updated when new information becomes available, if any is missing please let us know. Please report any inaccuracies.
July 31st Updates:

Am I in Stage 3?.

  • All regions are in Stage 3.

What is remaining closed in Stage 3?

The Chief Medical Officer of Health, public health experts and other officials have advised the following high-risk places and activities are not yet safe to open, due to the likelihood of large crowds congregating, difficulties with physical distancing, or challenges maintaining the proper cleaning and sanitation required to prevent the spread of COVID-19:
  • Amusement parks and water parks
  • Buffet-style food services
  • Dancing at restaurants and bars, other than by performers hired by the establishment following specific requirements
  • Overnight stays at camps for children
  • Private karaoke rooms
  • Prolonged or deliberate contact while playing sports•Saunas, steam rooms, bath houses and oxygen bars
  • Table games at casinos and gaming establishments.

What are the new gathering limits?

Based on the advice of the Chief Medical Officer of Health and public health experts, gathering limits for regions in Stage 3 will increase. The gathering limit of 10 people indoors or outdoors will continue to apply for regions in Stage 2 until they enter Stage 3. Social circles should continue to be kept at 10 people province-wide, regardless of stage.
  • Indoor gathering limits will increase to a maximum of 50 people
  • Outdoor gathering limits will increase to a maximum of 100 people.
  • In all cases, individuals are required to continue to maintain physical distancing of at least two metres with people from outside their households or social circles.
  • All businesses, services and public spaces when hosting an event are subject to indoor or outdoor gathering limits and ensuring physical distancing can be maintained.
  • People at their place of work, including performers and crews, do not count towards gathering limits.
  • People gathering indoors for religious services, rites or ceremonies, and wedding ceremonies or funeral services, can continue to fill up to 30 per cent of the capacity of the particular room, as introduced in Stage 2.

When Do Gathering Limits Apply?

Based on the advice of the Chief Medical Officer of Health and other public health experts, gathering limits apply to higher risk settings and activities where people congregate, including:
  • All organized or spontaneous indoor and outdoor events and social gatherings(e.g., parties, fundraisers, fairs, wedding receptions, funeral receptions)
  • Casinos, bingo halls and gaming establishments
  • Concerts and live shows, including performing arts
  • Convention centres and other meeting or event spaces
  • Recreational attractions, courses and instruction (e.g., fitness classes, music lessons,tutoring)
  • Festivals
  • Facilities for sports and recreational fitness activities (e.g., gyms, fitness studios)
  • movie theatres
  • Sporting and racing events
  • Real estate open houses
  • Tour and guide services (including boat tours)
Now for some additional restrictions

Amusement Parks and Water Parks

Amusement parks and water parks are not yet permitted to open in Stage 3

Casinos and Charitable Gaming Establishments

  • Table games must remain closed.
  • Casinos and charitable gaming establishments are subject to gathering limits and physical distancing measures, which apply to the entire facility.

Convention Centres, Meeting and Event Spaces

  • Convention centres, meeting and event spaces are subject to physical distancing measures and gathering limits, which apply to the entire facility

Facilities for Sports and Recreational Fitness Activities

Examples of facilities for sports and recreational fitness activities include gyms, fitness studios, and community centres.
  • Physical distancing must be maintained, except if playing a team sport or as needed for personal training.
  • The total number of people permitted in areas containing weights or exercise machines is limited to the number of people that can maintain physical distancing of at least two metres, whichcannot exceed the indoor gathering limit of 50 people.
  • The total number people permitted in classes or organized activities at any one time is limited to the number of people that can maintain physical distancing of at least two metres, and cannot exceed the indoor gathering limit of 50 people or the outdoor limit of 100.
  • Assigned spaces are strongly recommended for organized fitness classes (e.g., by marking circles on the floor to designate where each person should exercise)
  • Gathering limits do not apply in all other areas (e.g., pools, tennis courts and rinks).
  • Equipment must be cleaned and disinfected between user sets or at the end of a game.
  • Any washrooms, locker rooms, change rooms, showers or similar amenities made available to the public must be cleaned and disinfected frequently.
  • Steam rooms and saunas are not yet permitted to open.

Fitting Rooms

  • All fitting rooms may reopen, as long as patrons are not permitted to occupy adjacent fitting room stalls at any one time.
  • Cleaning and disinfection between fitting room customers should continue

Interactive Exhibits at Museums, Attractions and Heritage Institutions

  • In addition to the exhibits opened in Stage 2, high-contact surfaces such as interactive exhibits and displays may open. They must be cleaned and disinfected frequently
  • All special events, instructional classes and performances at these locations are subject to gathering limits and physical distancing measures.

Libraries

  • In addition to the services resumed in Stage 2, libraries may reopen for all on-site services, as long as materials that are circulated, returned or accessed within the library are disinfected or quarantined before being recirculated.

Live Shows, Performing Arts and Movie Theatres

Concerts, artistic events, theatrical productions, performances, and movie theatres may resume operations, including rehearsals, with the following restrictions
  • Performers must maintain physical distancing of two metres from every other person,except from other performers where necessary for purposes of the performance.
  • Audiences are subject to the number of people that can maintain physical distancing of at least two metres and cannot exceed gathering limits of 50 indoors and 100 outdoors.This applies to the entire facility, regardless of the number of theatres or performance stages within the facility
  • Performers and staff are not included in the gathering limits.
  • Plexiglass or some other impermeable barrier is required between the audience and singers as well as players of brass or wind instruments
  • Drive-in and drive-through venues, as permitted in Stage 2, are not subject to gathering limits
  • Concessions stands at drive-through venues may be accessed in-person or by drive-through or delivery to vehicles

Personal Care Services

  • In addition to the services permitted in Stage 2, all services that tend to a customer’s face are permitted (e.g., facials, ear piercing, eyebrow grooming and eyelash extensions).
  • Patrons must wear face coverings except while receiving services on an area of their face that would otherwise be covered by a face covering.
  • Personal care services must take measures to enable physical distancing between patrons, such as limiting the number of people who may be in the business at any one time.
  • Businesses should also consider recording each patron’s name and contact information to support effective contact tracing in case of an outbreak.
  • Oxygen bars, bath houses, steam rooms and saunas are not yet permitted to open.

Playgrounds and Play Structures

  • Outdoor playgrounds and play structures are permitted to reopen in Stage 3.
  • Physical distancing of at least two metres must be in place at all indoor playgrounds and play structures, except between individuals from the same household or social circle

Recreational Courses and Instruction

Examples of recreational courses and instruction include music lessons, language classes, tutoring and art classes.
  • All instructional classes are subject to gathering limits.
  • Physical distancing must be in place for participants, other than when necessary for instruction. Face coverings are recommended in those situations
  • Equipment must be cleaned and disinfected frequently
  • Plexiglass or some other impermeable barrier and physical distancing are required for any instruction that involves singing or playing wind or brass instruments

Recreational Attractions and Businesses

  • Examples of indoor recreational facilities and attractions include arcade rooms, escape rooms, bowling alleys, and pool halls.
  • Physical distancing of at least two metres must be in place.
  • Equipment must be cleaned and disinfected frequently.
  • Karaoke is permitted only outside of private karaoke rooms, which are not yet able to open in Stage 3, with restrictions including barriers, physical distancing and increased cleaning and disinfecting.

Restaurants, Bars and Nightclubs

  • All restaurants, bars, concession stands,and other food and drink establishments may open for indoor dine-in.
  • Nightclubs are not yet safe to open, except for the purpose of serving food or drinks to patrons in accordance with the conditions that apply to restaurants and bars
  • All patrons must be seated when eating or drinking at the establishment.
  • Establishments must take appropriate measures to ensure physical distancing of at least two metres between patrons from different tables, unless separated by plexiglass or some other impermeable barrier
  • Buffet-style service is not yet permitted in Stage 3.
  • Singing or music may be performed by a person or group at the restaurant or bar, with restrictions, including barriers between the performers and patrons and physical distancing. Dancing may only be performed by someone working at the establishment with restrictions
  • Karaoke is permitted only outside of private karaoke rooms, which are not yet permitted to open in Stage 3, with restrictions including barriers, physical distancing and increased cleaning and disinfecting.
  • Physical distancing of two metres between patrons from different households or social circles also continues to apply to food trucks, food courts, concession stands and tours, including tastings at wineries, breweries and distilleries.

Team Sports and Live Sporting Events

  • Prolonged or deliberate contact while playing sports is not permitted.
  • Team sports in which body contact between players is either an integral component of the sport or commonly occurs while engaged in the sport (e.g., wrestling, judo) are not yet permitted, unless the approach can be modified to prevent prolonged or deliberate physical contact
  • Amateur and recreational sports leagues may resume so long as they do not allow prolonged or deliberate physical contact between players or if they have modifications to avoid physical contact between players.
  • Leagues must contain no more than 50 participants total. If participants in a leagueexceed 50, the league may divide into smaller groups of no more than 50. Players are not yet permitted to play against players outside of their league or group.
  • Spectators at all sporting events, including professional sports, will be subject to gathering limits and physical distancing measures, with assigned seating where possible

Tour and Guide Services

  • For tour and guide services, including boat tours, the number of patrons is subject to gathering limits.
  • Physical distancing of at least two metres must be maintained between all individuals, except for those from the same household or social circle.
  • The outdoor gathering limit of 100 applies if patrons will be outside for the duration of the tour except to access washrooms, in transit to an outdoor area, or for health and safety reasons.
  • As with other gatherings and events, the indoor gathering limit of 50 applies if the gathering is fully or partially indoors.

Beyond Stage 3

The health and well-being of the people of Ontario will continue to guide every step of the government’s response to COVID-19. The success of Stage 3 will be critical for Ontario’s long-term economic recovery. As more businesses and activities reopen, the Chief Medical Officer of Health and public health officials will continue to closely monitor the evolving situation to advise when more regions can enter Stage 3, if public health restrictions can be further eased, or if they need to be tightened or reapplied.
With almost all businesses and public spaces reopening in Stage 3, Ontario has put enhanced case and contact management in place to quickly test, trace and isolate cases of COVID-19 to prepare for any future outbreaks, surges or waves. Just as important, people must continue to follow public health advice and workplace safety guidelines to keep each other safe. This is about treating each other with respect and taking personal responsibility, so that we can successfully beat COVID-19 and get on the path to a strong recovery.
The COVID-19 pandemic has affected everyone. As more of the province safely and gradually reopens, people are encouraged to support small businesses in their communities, shop local and look for products that are Ontario made. We are all in this together, and together we will emerge stronger than ever before.
The Ontario Spirit will continue to carry us forward as we work towards recovery and begin building a brighter and more prosperous future for every family, in every region of our province.
submitted by uarentme to ontario [link] [comments]

Lockdown restrictions from Wednesday 30th September 2020

The following new restrictions will be in effect in Newcastle, Gateshead, Northumberland, North and South Tyneside, Sunderland and County Durham:
updated Friday 2nd Oct 2020
Mod note: This is a long one, but important nonetheless. Please take a moment to read through it. These are the most relevant restrictions, however you should read them in full here
 

Personal restrictions

Residents of these areas must not
Fixed penalty notices may be issued against those over 18, and in contravention of these regulations, including:
Any person who holds, or is involved with the holding of, an illegal gathering of more than 30 people may be subject to a penalty of £10,000
The following gatherings are permitted

Travel restrictions

You MUST wear a face covering on public transport, in taxis, and in private hire vehicles, in addition to substantially enclosed travel hubs - such as indoor bus stations
You are strongly advised to travel only for essential reasons, such as to or from work or to collect groceries, cleaning or medical supplies.

Business restrictions

Hospitality venues subject to these restrictions include but are not limited to:
 
Expansion of hospitality restrictions Venues must take steps to ensure:
In general, businesses must make sure that customers do not meet indoors with members outside their household or support bubble, that they do not sing in non-household groups, or dance. Businesses must also ensure that loud music is not played, and tables/chairs are appropriately spaced apart. Pontential fines for non-compliance include:
There have been a number of posts circulating on social media disputing the effectiveness of restrictions, as well as disputing the severity of the virus and the possibility of it ever being contained. These are mostly based on pseudo-science and contain factually incorrect information. We strongly advise that you follow these restrictions, and if possible remain entirely indoors without coming into physical contact with others outside of your household. This is obviously not possible for everyone.
Furthermore, a reiteration of current requirements:
submitted by NorthernScrub to NewcastleUponTyne [link] [comments]

A cult hired me as an escort.

Sometimes you make choices in life that dictate your every move until the day you die. I made one of those choices. Sometimes, these decisions can ruin your life, make you not even want to finish it if you know what I mean. Mine was that kind.
I used to be an escort, not to be confused with a prostitute, although at the bare bones of it they are the exact same thing. Women, hired for their bodies. Prostitutes usually just for sex but escorts, they are performers, actresses… I’ve been someone's wedding date, multiple men's girlfriends at charity events, and even someone's sister used to trick their wife into a sick threeway. I guess it was safe since he wouldn't leave her for his own sister... That being said, at the end of the day, they all want the same thing, and they pay me A LOT of money for it. Unlike prostitutes that pick up random johns from street corners, I had a little black book of clientele. 12 to be exact when I got out of the business. That may sound like a lot but most of these clients only needed me for a week or two out of the year. A week at the Aspen cabin, memorial weekend on a yacht. I only had five that I saw weekly. A girl needs her off days.
By now you are probably judging me pretty hard and that’s fine. The way you feel about me now won’t compare to how you'll see me after I tell you about my last client. He was my bad decision. The choice that now rules over my life.
My number one client of three years had just died in a car accident. He was my cash cow, a business executive that was too busy for a wife but wanted company once or maybe twice a week. I charged 800 an hour and he would hire me for the whole night so you can imagine how much money I lost after his death. He needed to be replaced, and fast.
There are a lot of ways to get new clients. I started out at casinos, watching for big winners, but in 2020 the best way by far is the dark web. I’m going to assume you don’t know a lot about the dark web as most people don’t. There are a lot of misconceptions but honestly, it's just a whole bunch of people offering services that the government and society have deemed immoral and illegal, fucking prudes. Of course, you could run across someone with malicious intent just like you could at a restaurant, Walmart, or even church. You just have to be safe and take all the necessary precautions.
I obviously couldn’t be too picky at this time. I definitely wasn’t going to find a client as wealthy as Donny right off the bat so I was willing to take any job at that point. I posted my services in the usual escort forum I had worked with before, and after about a month and six degrading jobs that I was forced to drop my rate for later, I received an email requesting services but the details would be discussed in person.
Even on the dark web, this is a strange request, but not unheard of. One of my first clients from the web had the same request just so he could prove to me he wasn't a weirdo before asking if he could bite my toenails. He was actually a very sweet guy. Later he had lost his job so I just let him do it for free since it saved me a trip to the salon. Maybe this new guy just has some weird fetish. My response was, “ I agree to the meeting but am not accepting the job until the details are agreed upon.” He sent back the address for the coffee shop downtown, and time, 9 am the next day.
I instantly walked up to the counter to order my iced mocha. I don’t talk business before coffee. I take a sip as I scan the room for someone that looks like they are here to meet an escort. "Maybe that guy in all black sitting awkwardly in the corner with no cup." I thought. I sit across from the man that looks as though he has never been in a coffee shop before. "You should have at least ordered a coffee. You wouldn’t look so awkward." I teased. "I don’t drink coffee." He responded with a flat voice. "Then why didn’t we meet somewhere you could be more comfortable," I asked. "It’s about your comfort." He answered.
Something about him told me he was a very sheltered man. We get a lot of those type so you can tell most of the time. What bothered me the most was the lack of emotion in his eyes. They were just, dead.
"That’s a sweet gesture but I don’t need to be buttered up. We’re here for business. What is your business?" I demanded. He sat back in his chair, somewhat amused. "Well, obviously you offer certain services and I mean to hire you, for my boss."
"Your boss?" I asked. "Yes", he said pulling an envelope out of his pocket. "He is throwing a gala of sorts this weekend and would like women of your, caliber to attend. It's to celebrate and raise money for an event that only comes around every five thousand years. We have already hired other female entertainment as well. He placed the envelope on the table. "Ok, so what’s the catch? A mere gala doesn’t require this much secrecy." I stated. "Yes, the catch. Well, really there is no catch. The boss will want some company after and maybe even during the gala, which is where you come in. He is paying ten thousand up front, and the other ten after the Gala. The only thing is, he has some deformities."
I sat and thought about the word deformities for a moment. If I were shallow I wouldn't have made it this far in my career. Most of my clients lean more towards what you would call unattractive anyway, plus twenty thousand dollars is a lot of money. "Well, honestly, it doesn’t matter what he looks like as long as you’re not hiring me to fuck a retard or anything," I said.
The man smiled for the first time since the conversation started. "No no, nothing like that. He is a completely competent and consenting adult." He responded. "He just looks a little different."
After weighing my pros and cons, I agreed to the terms and the meeting ended with him writing down an address and casually walking out leaving behind the envelope with ten thousand dollars cash. I was more than happy.
The day of the gala came and I put on my best gown and pearls, wondering what cause it was for. The last one I attended was to raise money to clean up the oil spill in the gulf. Whatever it was, I did like helping even if I was only there to fuck some deformed guy. When I arrived I was instantly amazed at how big the house was. It was really more of a castle, to be honest. It towered over me like a brick skyscraper from the 1600s. I was greeted at the door by a man in a black cloak which, I thought was kind of weird but ignored. "The lord of the house welcomes you". The man said in the strangest accent I'd ever heard. "Lord?" I thought. "Maybe I should try to put this guy in my book. He would be the ONLY one I need with money like this." As I finished my thought, I heard a scream echo from within the house. It was at this point I became nervous. Before I knew it I was guided into the house by the man, not knowing that my life was about to change, forever.
Upon entering, I was immediately caught off guard. Everyone, wearing black cloaks except the rest of the entertainment which was a mix of upper-class debutants and freshly plucked hookers. It finally clicks. This is a cult! I look around and see, well, normal people drinking and having a good time, and in the back of the room, a 20-foot high red metal door. I strained my eyes to try to identify the markings.
"I'm glad you could make it." The man from the meeting said as he took my arm guiding me through the crowd. "Yes, of course. We do have a business agreement." I forced out with a shutter my voice. "A woman of her word. I love it! You don’t find many of those these days." He said with more confidence then he should have. "Um, what the fuck." I thought. Before I could respond he started again. "The boss has already had a long night and has retired to his study. He requested your company upon arrival."
Before I knew it I was standing in front of the big red metal door. The sound of it opening paralyzed me as I was pushed through the threshold into the dim room. The door slammed behind me, echoing through the room and my soul. "I'm so scared." I thought. "I want to leave but I can't move."
"Hello." The voice radiated through my body. It added so much more to my fear. His is silhouette rose from the chair in the corner confusing me because of its shape. "I've been expecting you." The voice said as if it were spoken by multiple people at the same time. "Expecting me? Or, or anyone?" I squeaked. "Everyone." He replied quickly. The man emerges from the shadows revealing he's not, simply deformed, nor is he simply, a man.
Its scaly grey hands reached out grabbing both of my arms. I couldn't move. The creature pulled me in close, running its snout down my neck. His warm breath melted my chills away. "I apologize for the heat, I'm warm-blooded." He explained. I couldn't take my focus off his horns. They were beautiful. "Why did I feel this way?" I questioned. I could feel myself, dripping... I prayed for the beast to mount me like the animal it was. Mercifully, it granted my wish.
Who knew heaven was so close to hell?
I came to my senses in the foyer with a group of other women who also appeared to be waking up from a sex coma. Somehow I was already holding my Jacket and purse so I walked straight towards the exit. As I walked past the man from the meeting he said, "See you next week..."
I pulled into my driveway before realizing I had driven the hr and a half in complete silence. I didn't remember driving home… I didn't remember going to sleep… I do remember waking up the next morning and downing two plan B pills with a shot of jack. After finishing the bottle, I went back to sleep.
I woke up to the sounds of growling. "Was that my stomach?" I didn’t feel hungry. I felt bloated and sick, and my head was fucking killing me. I took a Lortab, ate, and went back to sleep. I slept from Friday to Wednesday and woke up with extreme pain. I thought maybe it was bathroom pains, but I couldn't go. The hot tube was the only thing that helped. I couldn't get the water hot enough. After the pain had dulled down to about a 3 out of 10, I fell asleep. I woke up in terror after noticing how extended my belly was. I looked nine months pregnant. I felt a surge of pain every time a bulge moved across my stomach. As I screamed in Pain, 4 cloaked men surrounded the hot tub. I passed out as they were lifting me out of the bloody water.
"You need to push or hell claw his way out!" I heard a faint voice yell.
I woke up with my legs spread as I lay on my kitchen table. "PUSH!" a voice said. I felt all of the pain release from my body into the arms of this, cloaked man. After a moment I heard the snarls from the tiny creature.
"We're done here." one of the cloaked figures said. "Go to the hospital and have to explain, or stay here, maybe survive, your choice... No one's going to believe the truth."
I laid there as they left the room. As he turned the corner, I got a glimpse of the baby… He really was a monster... I didn't want to get up. I didn't care if I lived. I closed my eyes and went to sleep.
I woke up on my kitchen table, sore but able to walk. I took a shower, ate some fruity pebbles, and pretty much ignored the fact I was probably internally bleeding due to giving birth to the antichrist. It was when I remembered I needed to drain the bloody hot tub that I found this little guy. Twins apparently. This one must have been born before the goon squad showed up. The poor thing couldn't climb his way out. He’s actually kind of cute when you get used to him. His teeth are sharp but they can't pierce rubber gloves. He’s easily maintained and just eats raw beef or pork. He's growing fast and I worry about that. How many more of him are there? What's going to happen when they're grown? What should I do with it?
submitted by CultWorthy to nosleep [link] [comments]

[HIRING] 40 Jobs in NV Hiring Now!

Company Name Title City
HealthCare Traveler Jobs ICU - RN - Travel (Alamo) Alamo
HealthCare Traveler Jobs Neonatal Intensive Care Unit - NICU RN - Travel (Alamo) Alamo
CAST Transportation CDL A Flatbed Truck Driver - $2,000 Sign On Bonus - HAZMAT Drivers. Amargosa Valley
HealthCare Traveler Jobs ICU - RN - Travel (Amargosa Valley) Amargosa Valley
MYR Group Administrative Assistant Battle Mountain
Recruitology, Inc. Juvenile Probation OfficeGuardian Ad Litem Battle Mountain
St. Jude's Ranch For Children Warehouse/Delivery Driver Boulder City
Navy Naval Aviator Boulder City
U.S. Customs and Border Protection Border Patrol Agent Boulder City
Pegasus Transportation Hiring CDL A Teams and Solo Drivers Willing to Be Matched Boulder City
Army National Guard Signal Support Systems Specialist Boulder City
Company Confidential Advertise on your car! Start collecting “rent” from your own mini billboard. Boulder City
Company Confidential Genius! Get paid to advertise on your car Boulder City
Company Confidential Advertise On Your Car, Earn Passive Income Boulder City
St. Jude's Ranch For Children Contract Rehabilitation Specialist Boulder City
Pegasus Transportation CDL A Team Drivers - Weekly and Bi-Weekly Home Time Options Boulder City
U. S. Customs and Border Protection U. S. Customs and Border Protection: Border Patrol Agent Boulder City
United Van Lines CDL-a Household Goods Mover Lease Purchase Truck Driver Jobs Boulder City
Wilson Logistics CDL A Company Driver Boulder City
Pegasus Transportation Pegasus Is Hiring CDL A Team Drivers - Recession-Proof, High Mileage Positions Boulder City
Spar Group Inc Retail Merchandiser Caliente
Army National Guard Truck Driver (88M) Carlin
The Home Depot Merchandising Carnelian Bay
The Home Depot Freight/Receiving Carnelian Bay
Accountable Healthcare Staffing Registered Nurse Carson
Vitality Unlimited Registered Nurse Carson City
Carson Nugget Security Officer Carson City
Lincare Technician / Driver - DME Carson City
FedEx Cross Border Retail Customer Service Associate Carson City
Walmart Distribution Team Member - (Wed-Sat Overnights) Make up to $19 Carson City
US Anesthesia Partners Registered Nurse Carson City
Skill Demand IT Project Manager (IRP Implementation) Carson City
Wyndham Garden Carson City Max Casino Housekeeper Carson City
Mondelez International, Inc. Part-time Nabisco Retail MerchandiseStocker Carson City
Carson-Tahoe Regional Health Care Registered Nurse - ICU Carson City
Accessible Space Accessible Space: Personal Care Residential Assistant Carson City
Gentiva Health Services, Inc. Full Time Home Health Licensed Practical Nurse - $5,000 sign on bonus (65547) Carson City
Acosta, Inc. Retail Service Merchandiser Carson City
Lincoln Heritage Life Insurance Company Lincoln Heritage Life Insurance Company: Sales Representative - Insurance Sales Carson City
N/a Registered Nurse Carson City
Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in nv. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!
submitted by DramaticPatience0 to NevadaJobs [link] [comments]

List of my wedding “hacks”

Just wrote this as a request on another subreddit and thought I’d share with you too since this is a more appropriate place.
And as mentioned before, we were lucky that we had family and friends whose gifted us different parts of the wedding- venue, food, shoes and sashes for the bridesmaids.
Having a clear view of what we wanted and didn’t want, and starting to plan about 9 months ahead really helped financially and with stress. Remember, you don’t have to be tied to tradition: not religious? You have so many options for locations! Bouquet toss? Lame. Feeding each other cake? Overdone. Terrible, expensive, bridesmaids dresses? I would never do that to my friends and sister! Think critically and you can cut out a bunch of BS and still have an awesome celebration with a personal 10 minute ceremony.
submitted by downadarkallie to Frugal [link] [comments]

A cult hired me as an escort.


Sometimes you make choices in life that dictate your every move until the day you die. I made one of those choices. Sometimes, these decisions can ruin your life, make you not even want to finish it if you know what I mean. Mine was that kind.
I used to be an escort, not to be confused with a prostitute, although at the bare bones of it they are the exact same thing. Women, hired for their bodies. Prostitutes usually just for sex but escorts, they are performers, actresses… I’ve been someone's wedding date, multiple men's girlfriends at charity events, and even someone's sister used to trick their wife into a sick threeway. I guess it was safe since he wouldn't leave her for his own sister... That being said, at the end of the day, they all want the same thing, and they pay me A LOT of money for it. Unlike prostitutes that pick up random johns from street corners, I had a little black book of clientele. 12 to be exact when I got out of the business. That may sound like a lot but most of these clients only needed me for a week or two out of the year. A week at the Aspen cabin, memorial weekend on a yacht. I only had five that I saw weekly. A girl needs her off days.
By now you are probably judging me pretty hard and that’s fine. The way you feel about me now won’t compare to how you'll see me after I tell you about my last client. He was my bad decision. The choice that now rules over my life.
My number one client of three years had just died in a car accident. He was my cash cow, a business executive that was too busy for a wife but wanted company once or maybe twice a week. I charged 800 an hour and he would hire me for the whole night so you can imagine how much money I lost after his death. He needed to be replaced, and fast.
There are a lot of ways to get new clients. I started out at casinos, watching for big winners, but in 2020 the best way by far is the dark web. I’m going to assume you don’t know a lot about the dark web as most people don’t. There are a lot of misconceptions but honestly, it's just a whole bunch of people offering services that the government and society have deemed immoral and illegal, fucking prudes. Of course, you could run across someone with malicious intent just like you could at a restaurant, Walmart, or even church. You just have to be safe and take all the necessary precautions.
I obviously couldn’t be too picky at this time. I definitely wasn’t going to find a client as wealthy as Donny right off the bat so I was willing to take any job at that point. I posted my services in the usual escort forum I had worked with before, and after about a month and six degrading jobs that I was forced to drop my rate for later, I received an email requesting services but the details would be discussed in person.
Even on the dark web, this is a strange request, but not unheard of. One of my first clients from the web had the same request just so he could prove to me he wasn't a weirdo before asking if he could bite my toenails. He was actually a very sweet guy. Later he had lost his job so I just let him do it for free since it saved me a trip to the salon. Maybe this new guy just has some weird fetish. My response was, “ I agree to the meeting but am not accepting the job until the details are agreed upon.” He sent back the address for the coffee shop downtown, and time, 9 am the next day.
I instantly walked up to the counter to order my iced mocha. I don’t talk business before coffee. I take a sip as I scan the room for someone that looks like they are here to meet an escort. "Maybe that guy in all black sitting awkwardly in the corner with no cup." I thought. I sit across from the man that looks as though he has never been in a coffee shop before. "You should have at least ordered a coffee. You wouldn’t look so awkward." I teased. "I don’t drink coffee." He responded with a flat voice. "Then why didn’t we meet somewhere you could be more comfortable," I asked. "It’s about your comfort." He answered.
Something about him told me he was a very sheltered man. We get a lot of those type so you can tell most of the time. What bothered me the most was the lack of emotion in his eyes. They were just, dead.
"That’s a sweet gesture but I don’t need to be buttered up. We’re here for business. What is your business?" I demanded. He sat back in his chair, somewhat amused. "Well, obviously you offer certain services and I mean to hire you, for my boss."
"Your boss?" I asked. "Yes", he said pulling an envelope out of his pocket. "He is throwing a gala of sorts this weekend and would like women of your, caliber to attend. It's to celebrate and raise money for an event that only comes around every five thousand years. We have already hired other female entertainment as well. He placed the envelope on the table. "Ok, so what’s the catch? A mere gala doesn’t require this much secrecy." I stated. "Yes, the catch. Well, really there is no catch. The boss will want some company after and maybe even during the gala, which is where you come in. He is paying ten thousand up front, and the other ten after the Gala. The only thing is, he has some deformities."
I sat and thought about the word deformities for a moment. If I were shallow I wouldn't have made it this far in my career. Most of my clients lean more towards what you would call unattractive anyway, plus twenty thousand dollars is a lot of money. "Well, honestly, it doesn’t matter what he looks like as long as you’re not hiring me to fuck a retard or anything," I said.
The man smiled for the first time since the conversation started. "No no, nothing like that. He is a completely competent and consenting adult." He responded. "He just looks a little different."
After weighing my pros and cons, I agreed to the terms and the meeting ended with him writing down an address and casually walking out leaving behind the envelope with ten thousand dollars cash. I was more than happy.
The day of the gala came and I put on my best gown and pearls, wondering what cause it was for. The last one I attended was to raise money to clean up the oil spill in the gulf. Whatever it was, I did like helping even if I was only there to fuck some deformed guy. When I arrived I was instantly amazed at how big the house was. It was really more of a castle, to be honest. It towered over me like a brick skyscraper from the 1600s. I was greeted at the door by a man in a black cloak which, I thought was kind of weird but ignored. "The lord of the house welcomes you". The man said in the strangest accent I'd ever heard. "Lord?" I thought. "Maybe I should try to put this guy in my book. He would be the ONLY one I need with money like this." As I finished my thought, I heard a scream echo from within the house. It was at this point I became nervous. Before I knew it I was guided into the house by the man, not knowing that my life was about to change, forever.
Upon entering, I was immediately caught off guard. Everyone, wearing black cloaks except the rest of the entertainment which was a mix of upper-class debutants and freshly plucked hookers. It finally clicks. This is a cult! I look around and see, well, normal people drinking and having a good time, and in the back of the room, a 20-foot high red metal door. I strained my eyes to try to identify the markings.
"I'm glad you could make it." The man from the meeting said as he took my arm guiding me through the crowd. "Yes, of course. We do have a business agreement." I forced out with a shutter my voice. "A woman of her word. I love it! You don’t find many of those these days." He said with more confidence then he should have. "Um, what the fuck." I thought. Before I could respond he started again. "The boss has already had a long night and has retired to his study. He requested your company upon arrival."
Before I knew it I was standing in front of the big red metal door. The sound of it opening paralyzed me as I was pushed through the threshold into the dim room. The door slammed behind me, echoing through the room and my soul. "I'm so scared." I thought. "I want to leave but I can't move."
"Hello." The voice radiated through my body. It added so much more to my fear. His is silhouette rose from the chair in the corner confusing me because of its shape. "I've been expecting you." The voice said as if it were spoken by multiple people at the same time. "Expecting me? Or, or anyone?" I squeaked. "Everyone." He replied quickly. The man emerges from the shadows revealing he's not, simply deformed, nor is he simply, a man.
Its scaly grey hands reached out grabbing both of my arms. I couldn't move. The creature pulled me in close, running its snout down my neck. His warm breath melted my chills away. "I apologize for the heat, I'm warm-blooded." He explained. I couldn't take my focus off his horns. They were beautiful. "Why did I feel this way?" I questioned. I could feel myself, dripping... I prayed for the beast to mount me like the animal it was. Mercifully, it granted my wish.
Who knew heaven was so close to hell?
I came to my senses in the foyer with a group of other women who also appeared to be waking up from a sex coma. Somehow I was already holding my Jacket and purse so I walked straight towards the exit. As I walked past the man from the meeting he said, "See you next week..."
I pulled into my driveway before realizing I had driven the hr and a half in complete silence. I didn't remember driving home… I didn't remember going to sleep… I do remember waking up the next morning and downing two plan B pills with a shot of jack. After finishing the bottle, I went back to sleep.
I woke up to the sounds of growling. "Was that my stomach?" I didn’t feel hungry. I felt bloated and sick, and my head was fucking killing me. I took a Lortab, ate, and went back to sleep. I slept from Friday to Wednesday and woke up with extreme pain. I thought maybe it was bathroom pains, but I couldn't go. The hot tube was the only thing that helped. I couldn't get the water hot enough. After the pain had dulled down to about a 3 out of 10, I fell asleep. I woke up in terror after noticing how extended my belly was. I looked nine months pregnant. I felt a surge of pain every time a bulge moved across my stomach. As I screamed in Pain, 4 cloaked men surrounded the hot tub. I passed out as they were lifting me out of the bloody water.
"You need to push or hell claw his way out!" I heard a faint voice yell.
I woke up with my legs spread as I lay on my kitchen table. "PUSH!" a voice said. I felt all of the pain release from my body into the arms of this, cloaked man. After a moment I heard the snarls from the tiny creature.
"We're done here." one of the cloaked figures said. "Go to the hospital and have to explain, or stay here, maybe survive, your choice... No one's going to believe the truth."
I laid there as they left the room. As he turned the corner, I got a glimpse of the baby… He really was a monster... I didn't want to get up. I didn't care if I lived. I closed my eyes and went to sleep.
I woke up on my kitchen table, sore but able to walk. I took a shower, ate some fruity pebbles, and pretty much ignored the fact I was probably internally bleeding due to giving birth to the antichrist. It was when I remembered I needed to drain the bloody hot tub that I found this little guy. Twins apparently. This one must have been born before the goon squad showed up. The poor thing couldn't climb his way out. He’s actually kind of cute when you get used to him. His teeth are sharp but they can't pierce rubber gloves. He’s easily maintained and just eats raw beef or pork. He's growing fast and I worry about that. How many more of him are there? What's going to happen when they're grown? What should I do with it?
submitted by CultWorthy to TalesOfDarkness [link] [comments]

[Let's Build] D100 starts to a campaign that aren't in a tavern

I'm tired of starting all of my campaigns inexplicably in a tavern. What are some other ways you've seen a campaign start?
1: You were all involved in a war that's now over, visiting the sight of one of the most gruesome battles. Maybe you're here because you lost someone you cared about in the fight. Maybe you wished you could have been in the fray, but were held back. Maybe you ran from the fight and guilt drove you back here.
As the sun sets, the spirits of those long dead soldiers begin to reappear, all marching in the same direction. Will you follow?
2: All PC's were captured by the guards of a large city and sent to hang (the reason for this can be up to the player. Wrongfully convicted, career criminal, spoke out against the leadership, etc.). At the last moment, right before the lever is pulled, an arrow takes out the ropes and smoke bombs explode around you. You are quickly whisked away by your saviors, down a dark alley and into a secret hide away.
Your rescuers reveal themselves to be the most powerful and feared criminal syndicate of the country, and your life has a price. A very large ship of theirs carrying illegal goods that they won't specify (stolen gold, drugs, maybe even slaves for an interesting twist) went missing in a cove, along with any groups sent to search for it.
If you can find the ship, bring back the cargo, and not be caught by the guard in the process, you walk away rich and free.
3: The PC's are in a medium sized town, checking the local bounty board for work (why their here is up to the PCs). They quickly come to a disturbing realization: All of them now have a price on their heads.
4: An annual ceremony in the town takes place at the graveyard, unusually large due to the war-torn country. It's basically a carnival, where families gather around the graves to reminisce and celebrate the lives that once were. Chaos quickly erupts as the deceased relatives start clawing their way out of their caskets, attempting to kill their past loved ones.
5: beaten and bloodied, the PC's are left for dead, tied to trees in the middle of the forest by a local bandit group. What they didn't realize is that they tied you up right next to the mushroom circle of a local fey. She agrees to release you all on one condition: kill the bandits that have been ransacking her forest for supplies.
6: Inspired by elder scrolls, oblivion: You all are invited separately as illustrious guests to an esteemed and very wealthy manor. As soon as all of you enter, all of the doors slam shut and lock magically behind you. A disembodied voice is then heard throughout the manor: "kill eachother. The last one of you left standing will go free." Will they do as the voice commands? Or will they work together to uncover the mystery of the manor and escape?
Could end very quickly, but has a lot of potential. Could even have player characters come back as undead if killed by another person, solely bent on hunting down any members that remain.
7: You are all attendees to a wedding. You each may or may not know each other, but you do know at least one of the couple. As they are trading vows, assassins burst through the doors, killing the couple before anyone can act.
8: The local university hires the party as body guards for a scholar who is transporting his revelatory research to the capitol. During the journey, the scholar is assassinated, and his research is stolen. Now the party themselves are the subject of much suspicion. If they can solve the mystery of the assassination and recover the research, their names will be cleared.
9: In various locations, though various circumstances, the members of the party have been captured to be sold into slavery. They begin on a slave ship headed to market.
10: Each player wakes up in a wooden box (a coffin) buried in a shallow grave.
11: For one reason or another, the party has all signed up for an arena, either they are placed on a team together to fight monaters, or pitted against each other (depending on your group).
They can go through the arena or the arena can be interupted by something (an assassination, explosion in the city). Either winning the prize money, ir having arena officials be skeptical of them or asking for their help.
So many option you can go, and it usually starts with pretty quick combat.
12: You see a man post a notice on the notice board, saying local mansion needs help defending against nightly hauntings. That night you go to saod mansion and find corpses that have been there at least a year
13: In Medias Res: The players are in a town, and the town is under attack! The Fighter's guild, mages guild, churches, and even the thieves guild are all rushing to help hold the line.
14: Everyone wakes up on a beach, surrounded by the aftermath of a shipwreck.
15: The characters wake up in a jail cell, their heads throbbing from the previous night's apparent bender. The guards want to know how an NPC died. Could either have the players make it up, or hand them pieces of paper telling them what they remember.
16: The players are abducted by aliens. They have to figure out where they are, why they were abducted, and how to escape.
17: Characters are all in a market when a merchant stands on a podium and begins to speak. He shows off some type of item (can really be anything you want it to be), boasting that it is completely priceless/extremely powerful. Out of the crowd, someone jumps up onto the podium, knocks the merchant to the ground, and runs off with the item. The merchant screams, "Stop them! I'll give 1,000 gold to whoever can bring them back to me alive!" The players give chase.
18: Characters are all in a market of about 100 people, going about their business. One by one, they each realize they've been the victim of a pickpocket. They look around and see that everyone around them is having the same look in their eyes. They quickly discover that every single person in the market has been pickpocketed, and no one noticed. Was it a highly organized criminal group? A magically enhanced rogue? A trick of an illusion spell? The PC's aim to find out.
19: Characters are all soldiers in a war, and have been gathered by a superior officer for a special mission.
20: Characters all died prematurely in the same event, the Fates/some deity is upset about it. They all meet in whatever equivalent of purgatory you choose, and are sent back to the mortal plane stop whoever is interfering with fate.
21: Characters are all on a trade caravan(for whatever reason) when it is attacked by X type of monsters. The monsters are more organized than normal, and all have some kind of badge/insignia that indicates allegiance to something. The characters can choose to investigate on their own, or will be requested to upon arrival at their destination, after the caravan head reports to the Watch that they distinguished themselves in the fight.
22: You are all travelling on a riverboat in a deep canyon to the furthest-most city on the edge of civilization.
The riverboat is attacked by Kobolds (or any sort of enemy, this is a great chance to use something uncommon and exotic) on ziplines that steal supplies from the boats that ply the river. The players are the only ones capable of defending themselves and the boat.
23: You all wake in a field, lying in a circle with your feet towards the center, where the ground is scorched from a small explosion. Placed delicately in the middle of the scorch mark is a single page ripped from a journal.
You know who each other are, but have no idea how or why you met, or how you got here.
24: You are all invited to a ballard performed by an incredibly famous bard. As the performance goes on, the PC's notice that everyone around them has been petrified besides themselves. The bard then says, "Now that I have your attention, I have a favor to ask..."
25: You are all invited to a Ballard performed by an incredibly famous bard. At the end of the performance, you walk out side of the theater to see that the town you were just in is deserted and overgrown. As the other patrons walk out, they turn to dust and collapse to the ground right outside, with the people behind them quickly following, not noticing what's happening right in front of them. The only people who survive going through are the PC's. They slowly discover they've somehow been teleported one hundred years into the future.
26: You are all invited to a Ballard performed by an incredibly famous bard. As the bard continues their performance, his entourage quickly and discreetly locks all doors and bars all windows. By the time the performance has ended, all of the audience is surrounded by 30-50 archers, all with crossbows at the ready. From the back of the stage, a lich comes forward. You are all to be used as a sacrifice to give life to a new lich. Can your party stop the cult and save the audience?
27: In a village far to the north, a group of onlookers gawk at the sky (your PC's included). They've always seen the northern lights over head, but never as spectacular as this! With mixes of purple, blue, and green bands intertwining and coalescing throughout the sky, the whole village is lit up by the bright light. But it looks as if the bands are getting....closer. slowly but steadily coming closer to the ground.
Finally, as the bands of light sit just above the buildings in the town, you realize: each of these bands of light are a colossal cloud of wisps, at least a billion in number.
28: at the invitation of a royal gnome tinkerer, your party meets along with at least 20 other adventurers in a palace carved into a mountain. The gnome steps forward and speaks to you all:
"I have called all of you here today because I need a crew of the bravest, strongest adventurers that this world has to offer. For I have developed a revolutionary new form of travel that will take us to places never seen before!"
"I call it, the Star Sailor!"
29: The local university hires the party as body guards for a scholar who is transporting his revelatory research to the capitol. During the journey, the scholar is assassinated, and his research is stolen. Now the party themselves are the subject of much suspicion. If they can solve the mystery of the assassination and recover the research, their names will be cleared.
30: After going to sleep for the night in their separate domiciles, the PCs share a vivid dream. They open their eyes to discover they have all somnambulated to a small shrine to a forgotten God, in the nearby countryside. This group of strangers, frightened and confused, wonders why they were called.
31: In recent years a new phenomenon has cropped up: people throughout the land are being born with strange patterns on their skin. The PCs, each having a perfect holy symbol on their back, have been gathered at the temple for examination.
  1. The PCs are all freelancers, and a mutual contact (a Fixer) has found a job for them which requires all their unique talents. They have to meet with the employer's representative (Mr. Johnson) to receive details and their initial payment. The location in question is at the docks, as the person will be departing on a ship immediately after the meeting. They are given details on how they will get paid after that.
  2. There's a good reason this one doesn't start in a tavern. All of the PCs have run afoul of the gang that runs the local, and they have to either side with that gang's enemies (who aren't the PCs' biggest fans either), or somehow repair their reputation.
  3. All of the PCs are in the employ of an eccentric wizard who does not leave his tower. Prior to this, they had never directly met - but a murder has taken place and their employer needs information to solve the crime. (Nero Wolfe)
  4. You're an ex-military unit of Lawful Good PCs, and you found out that the general and his staff worship Bane (or another LE deity). Being the only witnesses to the evil, you are convicted of a crime you didn't commit. The campaign starts on the caravan to jail. (A-Team)
  5. All of the party is on the same boat voyage, whether across a sea or an ocean, when the boat is attacked by pirates. If they're not defeated the pirates steal trade goods while their leader gives an intimidating speech on the other boat. The party now knows a) there are pirates, and b) what the leader of the pirates in this area looks like. Any NPCs on the boat spread word of the party's deeds when they reach land.
  6. A scholar of the ancient, extinct cyclops race hired the PC's as body guards. They were ancient warriors who were immortal and had the ability to see briefly ahead in time. They became larger, stronger, and able to see farther into the future as they became older. You travel with him to the ancient cyclops ruins of one of their largest cities. After traveling a day and a half just to reach the center of the city, you arrive upon a circle that looks like it used to be a stadium of some sort. After walking into the center, he pulls a large vial from out of his coat, and smashes it on the ground at your feet. Suddenly, the buildings around you rematirialize, and your surrounded by a large group of extremely surprised cyclops, currently in the middle of a political meeting.
    You've been sent eons back to the past. Will you attempt to find the reason for their downfall, and try and save them? Or will you try and find your way back, ignoring their future demise?
  7. A country with an incredibly storied past is known to pay adventurers VERY well, due to a long history of them being saved from peril by legendary heroes and dragon slayers. Word has spread of a highly organized group of kobolds terrorizing this country. They are not merely raiding trade caravans, their isolating settlements, taking over whole towns and making the citizens slaves. The PC's meet at the capital either to help, or earn easy money. They are tasked with taking out a nearby kobold compound, scouring the capital and probing it for weaknesses. They have been ordered to take back the kobold warchief head as proof of their deed, which will adorn a spike on the city wall.
Before leaving, the king sends his personal body guard, a rangerogue to lead you to this compound. He seems extremely reluctant at first, but the king forces him to go. He tries his best to stay as far from combat as possible, almost like hes looking to bolt at the nearest opportunity.
During the course of the encounter, the kobold warchief catches the party by surprise, swinging a battle axe straight at the bodyguards head. The battleaxe literally cracks in half, with the bodyguard not even flinching. He immediately reaches behind on instinct and grabs the kobolds head, crushing it into pieces inside it's plated helm.
After the party questions him, he reveals that he is actually an ancient brass dragon, as old as the country itself. He considers the country his home, and loves being a part of the humans. He has often protected them, or even spinned tails of himself defeating dragons that had been terrorizing the area, bringing back one of his own scales as proof. Almost every legendary warrior in the countries history was actually him, in human form.
This kobold threat is new, though. They are the slaves of a red dragon, who heard tales that an ancient brass dragon had been hiding here. He wants to take him and his country as his slaves. It is up to the party to fight him and his slave army back, alongside the brass dragon.
  1. The party has been conscripted to fend off a cult from overthrowing the local lord. The general of the army and the lord are vassals of a corrupt, failing dynasty.
  2. Mad Margull’s Mysterious Menagerie and Miracles Show is in crisis – all the performers are desperately ill from the basilisk egg soufflé. So, the party meets as stand-in performers providing: Stunning Showcases of Strength and Stamina, Amazing Aerial Acrobatic Acts, Spine-tingling Sorcerous Summonings, Stupendous Stories and Songs, Accurate Archery of Apples atop Audience heads, and *Complete Conversations with Crabapple TreesTonight only!!!!
    Curtains close and the wagon cabin surrenders to darkness. The group of complete strangers ringed around the table links hands and are encouraged concentrate…concentrate…concentrate. The crystal sphere centered atop the table begins to glow, and the séance begins…
  3. Doing their civic duty, the party joins together as an impromptu jury in a witchcraft trial.
  4. Seeking free drinks, each has joined in as laborers at a brewery and wine-making faire.
  5. A bolt of lightning sparks from the sky to the top of an individual and jumps from person to person in a busy market. For a moment all five (Four? Three?) people are enveloped in light and joined by lightning bolts. Afterwards, they appear unhurt and undamaged. Why them?
  6. Each PC has a flashback to an event in there past that could have ended catastrophically but at the last second something happened. (Almost fell asleep on guard duty, and would have missed the Assassin comeing for the king. Or playing with a friend as a child they bump into an oil lamp in a barn.) But in the vision everything falls apart and they see themselves saying "I would give anything to..." after a voice in there head says "I've come to collect."
  7. The annual goblin hunt contest. The local town gets together once a year, everyone signs up and is put on a random team. (The players are on the same team, but it was random) The goal is kill as many goblin's as you can. The time of the event Sundown to Sunrise, and takes place in the forest. Each person has two Firefly jar's attached to them to prevent friendly fire.
  8. A meteor strikes the town next to yours a hour ago, the local guard is are asking any willing body's to help with the rescue, and see what happened.
  9. A carriage large enough for the party pulls up and the door opens to let you in. There’s no one driving, no one inside and the carriage is pulled by skeleton horses. Do you get in?
  10. You've all woken up in a grave yard, in holes 6 feet deep. One of you is currently having dirt shoveled on you.
  11. The PCs were all hired by different people to do the same job. When they run into each other at the job site, the first question is "Why is this job so important that so many people are willing to pay for it?"
  12. The PCs were all hired by the same person to do several different jobs at the same time. Each PC also received a note only to be opened when their job is done. That note gives the name of another PC (no two notes have the same name) and an offer to double their payment if they kill that person. (Best to save this one for groups that are okay at handling inter-party conflict, of course...)
  13. The PCs were all members of the same criminal gang. They're picked by the boss to carry out an assignment. When they come home, the city guard/police have swarmed over the gang's hideout. One of the guards/cops is holding a list of known members. Time to relocate.
  14. Each party member books passage on a ship heading for a local city. Each is on his or her own business. They're caught in a rift/wild magic surge/whatever you want and instead of docking at the target destination, the ship puts into a port far, far away from the original destination. From there, they can be in trouble because it's an enemy country, they can't get back because they don't have enough money, or some other hook you like to keep them there. This could also work with a merchant caravan or some other group travel method. large pieces of hostile geography could serve to keep the PCs in the new location at least for the beginning of the campaign.
  15. Party meets in a casino. They're suckered, either together or individually, such that they owe more than they can pay to the casino's owner who is also a local fixer. He's on the hook to map out a stretch of dangerous, unknown country, however large you want. To get rid of that problem, he offers to outfit the party with what they need, including a cartographer if no one has a compatible background, and then bullies them into performing the mapping mission to clear their debt. From there, they can run into whatever hooks you need to start your campaign somewhere in the wild. and if they abandon the mapping mission as a result, then they have a villain chasing them (the casino owner) who can pop up when they least expect it.
  16. For a less-then-good party (depends on each character's back story): The party is in prison, working at hard labor. They know each other's names, but not much more. they're on the same work detail, working outside the prison walls. Farming near a swamp, mining in a guarded shaft, farming in harsh weather conditions near a large forest. Take your pick. A monster runs through the work detail, killing the guards but leaving the party alive. Or a wild magic storm, or a war party from the local bandits or a neighboring but hostile country. Bottom line: guards are gone or dead, the coast is clear. Each party member is on the hook for a long sentence, guilty or not is up to you and their back story. They can get basic equipment off the bodies of the fallen guards and then it can either be a quiet escape into a nearby city from where they need to book passage out as quickly as possible...or a wild chase through a swamp or forest being pursued by angry guards and tracking dogs. They can escape outright or find a helpful NPC who hides them while dropping the first hook to your campaign in the process.
  17. The party are all young adults in the same family. If races become a problem, then remember adoption as part of the back story. A low-rank noble family is easiest since those kids would be trained in straight D&D classes as part of their education -- knight, ranger, cleric, even wizard. rogues could be rogue-centric rangers or they could be bad-boy nobles who spend too much time with the wrong crowd in the local city so they actually develop first-level rogue skills. A creative backstory is required for each character. Once that's done, then something happens to the family. A patriarch is convicted of treason, the family is ruined and cast adrift. Or the kids unwittingly commit a crime -- they hurt the son of a local king, they accidentally release some long lost horror that was being kept beneath the family castle. Two other directions might be a peasant family, though this will require some creative back story-ing for why an entire family of peasants would be trained in non-serf skills. but if you can work that out, then the village could be ransacked or the family could go bankrupt forcing the oldest kids to hire on as caravan guards or something to support themselves and the family. The final direction would be an upper-crust noble family. Princes and princesses of a major nation. A coup casts the family out and the campaign is about regaining the throne.
  18. The party are all low-level employees of a local thieves guild. They don't have to all be thieves. Fighters can be enforcers. priests can be back-room healers. wizards can be tool makers or simply in debt to the guild master and trading services for debt-reduction. again, dependent on a character-specific back story. The campaign starts when the players attend some kind of general meeting -- they're all at the neighborhood capo's tavern on separate business maybe (paying debts, paying tribute, reporting on operations, etc). A rival thieves guild suddenly attacks, mostly wiping out the PC's guild. The PC's an a very small number of unknown other survive and must escape the city before the rival guild finds and neutralizes them. That's why they stick together. They can run towards your first campaign hook if you make it part of one of their back stories, or they can run for the nearest safe haven and encounter the first campaign hook there.
  19. (From DND memes, which got it from tumblr user probablyfunrpgideas) The players are a squad of government investigators, trying to prevent monsters from claiming new habitat. Making sure abandoned properties are sold and dont remain vacant too long, trying to keep people from stockpiling loads of alchemical/magical ingredients in one place, etc. Its mainly negotiation, but sometimes people have an interest in attracting dangerous entities for their own purposes.
  20. Maybe your party dies in the middle of a campaign, maybe they died separately of natural causes. Either way they all "wake up" next to each other, in a cold and bleak mirror image of the regular world. You can all feel it in your bones. Something is coming. You have only minutes to talk and prepare before whatever it is will be there.
As it gets closer, you can make out what is on it's way. A creature standing at least eighteen feet tall is shambling awkwardly towards you. It is vaguely humanoid, with three legs of slightly different lengths all jutting from a central point at where it's pelvis would be. It has six arms, four of which are holding human sized cages (it can be more if the party is larger than this). It's hands bend in the opposite direction of a normal humans, curling sickly out from it's body. The body itself is deathly pale and malnourished, clearly showing the veins and musculature beneath the skin. It has a normal head, but is absent a face. It has sunken in skin where it's eyes would be, with cracks covered in dried blood at the center. A long, jagged crack in the skin also stretches across where the mouth would be. A spike twice the length of a spear is stabbed downward through the creatures ribcage. At the upper half of the spear, a lantern with a blue flame is attached.
If the players manage to steal the lantern or kill the creature (it may be large and swing pretty hard, but it is practically unable to avoid attacks with its awkward gait and has no outside armor whatsoever. Removing the lantern from the creature will cause it to immediately drop to the ground, lifeless.), they will discover that releasing the flame sends them back to the material plane, in the middle of the wilderness. The lantern is still with whoever opened it, albeit it's no longer lit.
They just managed to do something no other living being has ever done. They have obtained one of the lantern of the collectors, a literally priceless artifact that can bring people back from the dead, and traverse the dead realms. Now they just have to figure out how it works.
  1. Strange groups of identical looking adventurers have started roaming the country, taking on assignments for very little money. You gotta figure out who they are, where they came from, and how to stop them before they take all your work.
  2. A fallout new Vegas one. Basically the group all wake up in a doctors office with no memory, only a letter explaining they were delivering something to a location.
  3. In the central city of the empire/nation, during a major celebration, the king is assassinated, and resurrection spells fail when cast on him. There is a major bounty placed on discovering why.
  4. Your party is a bunch of strangers that has been framed for a crime. Now your group has to work together to prove their innocence and put the real culprits behind bars!
  5. All members of party are found in strange place.. no floor, no ceiling, no nothing. They are just floating around. Suddenly, man dressed in black suit walks in, and proposes a deal. The party is going to hell either way, but if they help him out, he might secure them a way back to mortal realm.
  6. All the PC's are in a huge open air bazaar in the center of a large desert fortress town (they do not need to know each other or be shopping together). Suddenly, a young boy (early teens) comes crashing down through an awning of a nearby stall, a short sword in one hand (still sheathed) as a merchant and several of the local guard chase him yelling "Stop, thief!"
  7. The party is all half human and half other races looking for their shared parent.
  8. All members of your party are part of the town guard. Monster attacks have been on the rise lately and a nest of goblins/orcs/whatever has been discovered and your party has been sent to wipe them out (along with other soldiers who, alas, don't make it.)
  9. The PC’s all meet in a gnomish tinkers shop, looking to get their pocket watches repair. Oddly they all have pocket watches that have stopped on the exact same time.
  10. All the PCs are going about their own business in the market square. Suddenly time stops and everyone and everything is frozen for 3 minutes, apart from the PCs.
  11. All the PCs meet out in a field next to a large flat topped rock, having received a note to be there at this specified time and date. A flapping gushing sound starts softly getting louder and louder until thud, a body from the sky hits the rock. Clasped in the bodies hand is a note which reads ‘avenge me’.
submitted by Sloadkroger to d100 [link] [comments]

James Bond License to Kill alternate version part 2

Stayed tuned ladies and Gentilmen for part 3
submitted by wrestlemania12345 to JamesBond [link] [comments]

I made a list of every crime committed in The Office and it only took seven months

Below I’ve listed every law that was broken in The Office (from destruction of property and battery to homicide and kidnapping) whether legal action was taken or not, as well as ideas that people had that were illegal; I’m not a legal expert, I just have a lot of much free time (I labeled the episodes the same way that Netflix does.)
S1E3: Dwight claims that multiple people in the office forged medical forms for their health insurance plans
S1E6: Michael claims that Dunder Mifflin employees in the 80’s constantly used cocaine
S2E1: Pam, Kelly, and Phyllis reveal that there is something written on the women’s bathroom wall, later Pam reveals to Jim that she was the one who wrote it; people throw food at Michael (would fall under battery)
S2E2: Packer reveals that he’s been convicted of a DUI
S2E3: Dwight reveals that sometimes teenagers use his farm for sex (depending on their ages, this may be illegal as the Pennsylvania age of consent is sixteen)
S2E6: Dwight punches Michael in the stomach twice with considerable force (Michael does bait him into doing it though)
S2E8: Jim punctures a hole in Dwight’s “fitness orb” with a pair of scissors; it is implied that a former accountant killed himself; Dwight reveals that he made a copy of Michael’s key to the office
S2E10: Meredith flashes Michael in his office
S2E11: Michael tells everyone on the cruise that the ship is sinking when there’s no danger (creating a false panic is illegal in most cases)
S2E12: Dwight crashes his car into a telephone pole outside of the office and leaves his bumper in the street
S2E14: Michael says that Packer once held a man’s head into a toilet; it is also implied that Packer was the one who defecated in Michael’s office
S2E15: Michael causes lots of damage in the warehouse by improperly using the lift (he also doesn’t have a license to operate it)
S2E16: Michael jaywalks (technically illegal though typically not enforced); Michael comments that someone was pooping in a cardboard box in the subway
S2E17: Dwight tackles Ryan, Creed, and Stanley to the ground
S2E19: Michael finds out that he’s involved in a pyramid scheme
S2E20: Dwight finds a joint in the parking lot (Pennsylvania didn’t make steps to decriminalize marijuana until 2014); Michael believes he unknowingly smoked marijuana at a concert; Dwight gives Michael some of his urine so that he can pass a drug test
S2E21: Creed faces sideways after his company photo is taken, implying that he’s been arrested in the past
S2E22: Creed steals casino chips and also admits to stealing things all of the time; Dwight kisses Angela and she hits him in response (though it seems like both parties were okay with the outcome)
S3E1: Roy reveals that he was arrested for drunk driving
S3E4: Creed reveals that the reason Ed Truck got decapitated was because he was driving drunk (though this was never confirmed and Creed tends to lie); the bird funeral is lit on fire (probably illegal as they did not have a permit and it was mainly paper and not wood)
S3E5: Ryan and Dwight egg the front of Axelrod Ltd’s building
S3E6: Jim rides his bike drunk (believe it or not, this is actually illegal)
S3E7: Creed sells office equipment
S3E8: Andy steals a computer from the Stamford office; after poking holes in everyone’s tires, Michael claims it was Vance Refrigeration workers that did it
S3E9: It is revealed that Martin went to jail for insider trading; Kevin admits that insider trading sounds a lot like what he does as well
S3E10: Creed removes a present from the charity box (removing uncollected items from charity drives is theft); Pam reveals that she has been sending fake letters from the CIA to Dwight, Jim later gets involved (illegal to pass yourself off as a CIA agent)
S3E13: Andy punches a hole through the wall
S3E16: Michael reveals that his eighth grade teacher hooked up with at least thirteen students; Dwight reveals that he hunted a werewolf as a child, but it’s more likely that he killed his neighbor’s dog; Dwight traps a bat in a bag over Meredith’s head
S3E17: Creed reveals that he has a side business where he makes fake IDs for teens; Creed also reveals that he stole a laminating machine from the sheriff’s station; Dwight accidentally damages David’s roof while inspecting the chimney; Roy and his brother destroy multiple objects in a bar including a mirror, a chair, and multiple glasses (Roy’s brother later reveals that he paid off the bar owner to not call the cops on them)
S3E18: Roy attempts to assault Jim in the office after finding out he kissed Pam; Dwight uses pepper spray on Roy when he attempts to assault Jim (this was done defense of Jim however); Jim reveals that Dwight has weapons such as nunchucks and throwing stars hidden in the office; Dwight uses pepper spray against Andy; Dwight is found to have more weapons hidden in his desk such as brass knuckles, a police baton, and a taser
S3E19: Darryl reveals that Michael once kicked a ladder out from under him and caused him to break his ankle; Michael accidentally smashes a watermelon on the roof of someone’s car; Michael tries to convince the office that he’s going to commit suicide
S3E20: A former Dunder Mifflin employee from the paper mill put a watermark of two cartoon animals having sex on about five-hundred boxes-worth of paper; Creed frames Debbie Brown from the paper mill for not catching the watermark on the paper, which results in her termination; it was revealed that Andy was unknowingly dating a high schooler (only illegal if they had sexual contact); Andy reveals that he and his high school girlfriend knocked over a mailbox with her friends
S3E21: Phyllis claims that she was flashed by a man in the parking lot; when Jim calls the police to report the flasher, he says that the police have already gotten three calls; Creed implies that he has flashed people in the past; Jan offers Michael money in return for him driving to New York and having sex (it is illegal to accept or pay money for sex, even if the other person is not a prostitute); Meredith throws her trash out of her car window onto the street while also driving recklessly; while parking her car, Meredith scrapes another car; Creed reveals that he uses the women’s bathroom for bowel movements and has “paid dearly” for it in the past; Dwight and Andy put up barbed wire on the parking lot fence of the office (using barbed wire is typically illegal if the fence is adjacent to a public street)
S3E22: Michael lights a bonfire on the beach (he likely did not have a fire permit)
S3E23: Jim and Karen sneak into a theater to see the second half of Spamalot (would technically burglary, believe it or not, since they snuck in with the intent of stealing services); Jan claims that the reason she is being fired from Dunder Mifflin is because of her breast implants (though David says it is because of her work ethic)
S4E1: Michael hits Meredith with his car and fractures her pelvis; Dwight attempts to mercy kill Angela’s cat by trapping it in her freezer
S4E2: Michael claims that when he was a child, he had a foreign exchange student living with him that stole all of his blue jeans when he went back to his home country; Kelly tells Ryan that she is pregnant with his child in an attempt to get him to go on a date with her (this could fall under intentional infliction of emotional distress)
S4E3: Michael and Dwight detain the pizza deliveryman in the office conference room; Dwight reveals that the pizza deliveryman steals hemp from his farm; Andy reveals that he stole the ice sculpture he brought to the party; Michael and Dwight steal a tray of sushi and some accessories from a restaurant
S4E4: Dwight admits that the permits on the bed and breakfast side of Schrute Farms are still pending even though he is actively taking customers; Creed reveals that he has a second identity that he transfers his debt to; Michael and Jan are likely trespassing while they are sitting on the stationed train
S4E6: Dwight attempts to create molotov cocktails to throw in the Utica office; Michael drives recklessly on the highway; while stealing the Utica branch’s industrial copier, Michael and Dwight break it; Dwight reveals more weapons that he has in the office, including a pack of knives, a pair of sai, a sword, and a blowdart (having these weapons in the open is not illegal, but concealing them is)
S4E8: Michael purgers himself during Jan’s deposition
S4E9: Jan throws a Dundie at Michael’s TV and breaks it
S4E10: It is revealed that the model from Micahel’s chair catalog died in a car accident (Dwight says that she was stoned at the time and crashed into the side of an airplane hanger)
S4E11: Ryan states that the Dunder Mifflin website was infiltrated by sexual predators (only illegal if they used it to transmit child pornography or arrange meetings with minors with the intent of sexual contact); it is heavily implied that Ryan and his friend Troy are under the influence of cocaine
S4E12: Michael places his face in wet cement outside of the office (would be considered destruction of property)
S4E13: Andy drives a golf cart recklessly and ends up destroying its roof (and potentially the cart as well)
S4E14: Jim sets up Dwight’s cell and work phones to go to his Bluetooth and pretends to be him when clients call (could fall under criminal impersonation); Ryan commits fraud by having people re-record sales and is arrested for it; Dwight, Meredith, and Mose release a raccoon into Holly’s car (only illegal if it does damage to her car)
S5E1: Phyllis blackmails Angela by threatening to reveal Angela and Dwight’s affair unless she lets Phyllis run the Party Planning Committee
S5E3: Kelly reveals that she downloads pirated music onto her work computer, to which Michael responds, “who hasn’t”; Meredith reveals that she’s been sleeping with a supplier in exchange for discounts on supplies and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates (could fall under the scope of prostitution); Michael threatens to kill everyone if they don’t go to the conference room
S5E4: Dwight tries to destroy Jan’s $1,200 stroller
S5E5: The office is robbed after Michael and Holly forget to lock the office’s front door; Creed implies that he made the last person who stole from him disappear, and that he stole the identity Creed Bratton from them
S5E7: Kelly falsifies customer surveys regarding Jim and Dwight
S5E9: Michael attempts to purchase marijuana from two Vance Refrigeration workers, and they trick him into buying a salad in a bag rather than drugs (intent to purchase illegal drugs is illegal, and so is selling counterfeit drugs); Michael and Dwight attempt to frame Toby with drug trafficking and possession of marijuana; when the cops arrive, Creed becomes incredibly worried that he’ll be arrested, implying that he either has drugs in the office, or is a drug dealer
S5E10: Dwight tricks Angela into marrying him (this would be considered fraudulently inducing someone into marriage)
S5E11: Creed is seen smoking out of a pipe likely containing kif, which has cannabis in it; Creed says that he can get fire permits very quickly, implying that they are possibly fake; Michael forces Meredith into going to a rehab facility (technically falls under the definition of kidnapping)
S5E12: Jim uncovers more weapons that Dwight has hidden throughout the office; Andy pins Dwight against a fence with his car, Dwight dents Andy’s car
S5E13: Jim connects a red wire to Dwight’s computer which leads outside to the top of the power pole (would qualify as vandalism to the pole); Michael and Dwight attempt to learn information about a competitor under the guise of a potential customer and potential employee (could be considered corporate espionage, but I couldn’t find any specifics)
S5E14: Dwight induces panic law by simulating a fire in the office, he additionally damages multiple doors and cuts the phone wires; during the fire drill, multiple office employees damage items in the office including ceiling tiles, the copier machine, and the vending machine; Dwight reveals that he is planning a bomb scare; Dwight is shown to have a hunting knife strapped to his ankle, and he uses this knife to cut apart the CPR dummy (though corporate payed for the damages to the dummy); Andy, Jim, and Pam watch a pirated film
S5E15: Dwight buys cookies from Toby in exchange for him signing a form (quid pro quo on this is illegal); Dwight attempts to have his coworkers sign his form under the guise of it being a sign-in sheet; Michael throws full slices of bread on the ground to feed pigeons (it was winter and there were no birds, so this could be considered littering)
S5E16: Jim cuts the cord that connects Michael’s phone to the office’s PA system; Dwight finds out that Kelly went to juvenile detention when she was younger; Creed gives Jim a $3 bill (counterfeit money is illegal)
S5E17: Creed says he knows where to buy a kid for $7,000; it’s revealed that the reason Kelly was in juvenile detention was because she stole her boyfriend’s father’s boat; Michael cuts off a sleeve from Holly’s sweater; Michael also takes a file off of Holly’s computer (would be classified as unauthorized computer access)
S5E18: Phyllis and Bob have sex in a restaurant bathroom (this is technically public sex which is a misdemeanor); Creed steals a bag of blood from the blood drive
S5E19: Dwight slaps Michael; Jim slaps Dwight
S5E20: Dwight pretends to have kidnapped David’s son
S5E21: Michael sneaks back into the office after being asked to leave (technically trespassing as it is private property and he was escorted out of the building)
S5E22: Michael breaks his condominium agreement by having the Michael Scott Paper Company located within his condo (though the owner only sent a warning that he needed to stop); Ryan steals three pairs of bowling shoes before he quits the bowling alley; Michael asks Billy to sell him a ‘secret office space’ off of the books within the Scranton Business Park
S5E23: Dwight claims that a woman named Haddie McGonagle was murdered in the Dunder Mifflin office space in 1816 (though he probably made this up)
S5E24: Dwight steals supplies and files from the Michael Scott Paper Company’s office
S5E26: While fixing her dress, Meredith accidentally reveals one of her breasts, as well as her crotch and her backside (was accidental, but could be considered public indecency)
S5E27: Dwight cuts open the back of Phyllis’ blouse so he can give her a massage; Creed reveals that he doesn’t have any mirrors in his car that let him see behind the car (in Pennsylvania, it is illegal to drive without at least one mirror that lets you see behind the car)
S5E28: Dwight’s friend Rolph once inquired about shoes that increased speed and didn’t leave any tracks, implying that he was going to commit a crime
S6E1: Stanley wrecks Michael’s car with a tire iron
S6E2: Dwight and Toby accidentally crash into a few trash cans outside Darryl’s house; Dwight uncovers that the real cause of Darryl’s injury was from misuse of company equipment
S6E4: Michael ties full beer cans to the back of his car which left debris all over the road; Dwight implies that Mose is going to be castrating horses (only legal if Mose has a veterinary license, which is unlikely); Dwight also claims that he has a device which can make hamburgers out of horse meat without killing the horse (likely animal cruelty)
S6E5: The Niagara Falls hotel staff incinerated Kevin’s shoes (they claim they did it because it was a safety issue); Dwight gifts a turtle to Jim and Pam for their wedding and appears to not have made any holes in the box (likely animal cruelty); Dwight accidentally kicks Isabel in the face while dancing
S6E6: While answering Jim’s phone, Kevin pretends to be Jim and accidentally cancels his credit cards
S6E7: Dwight secretly records the conversations in Jim’s office (Pennsylvania has a two-party consent law which means that all parties in the conversations must consent to being recorded); Andy talks about a 60 Minutes segment that went into working conditions of a paper mill in Peru (the 60 Minutes segment likely went into illegal conditions within the mill)
S6E8: Meredith reveals that she has had sex with a known terrorist; while writing down things that people don’t want to be made fun of for, Creed says that if he writes his down, he cannot be charged for it; a custodian reveals that when Michael fell into the koi pond, he accidentally killed one of the fish
S6E9: Ryan shows Erin a topless photo of Kelly in the office (could be considered indecent exposure since it was in a public space within the office); Creed implies that a shipping order was never supposed to reach it’s location, possibly indicating that he stole a shipment
S6E10: Creed flees the office when Michael tells him that there was a murder and that he was a suspect, implying that he may be involved in a murder
S6E12: Dwight secretly records a phone call between Jim and David
S6E13: As part of Secret Santa, Andy gives Erin the Twelve Days of Christmas, inadvertently resulting in physical injury to her and potentially her home and car; Creed implies that he’s done “evil” things; Michael says that he has often claimed to be David’s childrens’ pediatrician to get him on the phone
S6E16: Andy accidentally gives Meredith a large paper cut on her throat; Ryan implies to Dwight that they should torture Jim
S6E17: While escorting Jim and Pam to the hospital, Dwight puts a police light on the top of his car; Michael uses his phone to text and make a call while driving; when being pulled over, Dwight throws multiple large weapons out his window; Michael parks in an ambulance-only parking spot
S6E18: Dwight breaks a window to enter Jim and Pam’s home; after breaking in, Dwight discovers mold in their home and destroys walls and cabinets with a crew of workers so he can refurbish their kitchen; Jim comments that he had five parking tickets on his windshield
S6E20: Creed tries to act casual when Michael announces that the lost and found has gone missing, implying he may have stolen it; Andy aggressively tries to take a pen from Darryl (could be considered battery); Dwight strangles Kevin in an attempt to get information from him; Michael and Dwight, and then later Andy and Erin, walk around the Scranton dump (would be considered trespassing); Michael and Dwight throw large pieces of garbage at each other; Michael and Dwight take two chairs from the dump
S6E21: Phyllis claims she likes getting men to flirt with her so that Bob will beat them up; Michael accidentally damages multiple objects while being reckless at the bar; Dwight breaks his contract with Angela (unsure as to whether a lawyer was involved with the first contract, but Angela served Dwight with a summons for breaking it, leading me to believe it was legitimate); Hide admits that he killed a Yakuza boss on purpose and then came to America illegally
S6E22: Meredith steals and uses Pam’s breast pump
S6E24: Michael hires Dwight to follow Donna around to see if she’s cheating on him (following someone isn’t illega, but it could be considered stalking or harassment); Creed implies that he’s committed crimes for low levels of reward; Michael says he’s going to kill the guy who’s kissing Donna in her Facebook photo (though he immediately takes it back)
S6E25: Michael keeps throwing out radon kits that Toby put around the office; Michael once again claims that he would kill Toby; Dwight claims that his money is buried underneath someone (though we don’t know if this is a grave or a buried corpse); Dwight and Angela’s lawyer comments that their sex contract is dangerously close to prostitution and illegal
S7E1: Dwight tears the head off of Phyllis’ teddy bear and pulls a knife on Jim; Meredith breaks into Michael’s nephew’s car; Michael spanks his nephew
S7E2: Dwight attempts to open a daycare center that is absolutely not up to safety codes; Toby allows Michael to forge his counseling paperwork
S7E4: Dwight is shown attempting to pick up what would appear to be illegal immigrants for day labour and then instead of paying them, has Mose pretend to be an INS agent, kidnaps the workers, and then drops them off in Harrisburg; Holly claims that multiple people died in a traffic accident (though it’s incredibly likely that she was kidding); Michael takes an incredibly quick turn without his turn signal on
S7E5: Michael, Dwight, and Jim secretly watch Danny’s meeting with Meredith through hidden cameras (only illegal if they are recording the footage)
S7E7: Angela steals all of the scones from Cece’s christening (though they were for public consumption so it probably wouldn’t constitute as theft)
S7E8: The Scranton Strangler leads police on a high speed pursuit; Michael tells Pam that he has a loaded gun hidden in his desk at the office; Michael cuts the cable going to Gabe’s apartment
S7E10: Erin floats the idea of hiring a new employee, killing them, and then cashing in on the life insurance policy; Dwight and Phyllis float the idea of bombing China; Pam accuses Dwight of breaking property code laws
S7E11: Dwight and Jim keep throwing snowballs at each other with force, and some that contained pebbles (snowball fights themselves aren’t illegal, but it’s illegal in most places to throw objects which could be considered missiles, and Jim is also shown with what appears to be blood on his clothes afterwards); Dwight asks Toby is he’s on the jury for the middle school teacher who tried to turn a foreign exchange student into a sex slave; Meredith asks Toby if it’s the case with the postman who rubbed his genitals on deliveries; Michael throws out supplies and food meant for the Christmas party; Dwight is shown dragging the Christmas tree out of the office to throw it out; one of the snowballs that Jim lobs at Dwight breaks a window; Michael throws Holly’s Woody doll into the trash and pours coffee on it
S7E12: Jim stabs a few snowmen with his umbrella hoping that Dwight is hiding in one of them
S7E13: Michael claims that regardless if Holly gets engaged or not, he will probably either attack people in rage or burn the building down in happiness
S7E15: Michael leaves without paying at the Chinese restaurant; Creed is also listed on the wall of diners who did not pay for their meal
S7E17: Michael most likely did not have permits to film in some of the locations featured in Threat Level Midnight; multiple characters in Michael’s film are seen using guns (you do not need a permit to have a gun in your home or business place in Pennsylvania, but multiple characters concealed their weapons during the film, though the guns are likely fake); a mannequin of Toby is blown up during Michael’s film (depending on the type of explosive used, certification may be required); during the hockey scene of the film, Michael comments that it was filmed during an actual Scranton High hockey game (could be seen as defiant trespassing and/or disorderly conduct)
S7E18: Packer humps Michael and Dwight while they’re underneath a desk; Dwight throws away Holly’s zen garden; Dwight offers Packer a hot chocolate laced with many laxatives (depending on the amount, it could be considered assault or even homicide since extreme dehydration could kill someone); Andy purposely does damage to his computer’s keyboard and hard drive; Andy and Pam slightly damage Andy’s new computer; Jim and Dwight pretend to be Sabre employees and tell Packer he can jump the gate at Jo’s house
S7E19: Ryan uses Phyllis and Oscar’s faces on his mom’s pesto and salsa recipes (would fall under right of publicity laws); Ryan adds a Kosher certification onto his mom’s pesto recipe (against FDA regulations); Michael pours gasoline all over the parking lot; Michael wants to steal a corpse from a medical school to use in his proposal to Holly
S7E20: Michael eggs Toby’s house; Kevin colors on a restaurant tablecloth with crayons; Ryan admits to have done drugs in the past
S7E21: Gabe confronts Andy and threatens him to stay away from Erin (could be considered criminal threatening); Deangelo claims that he caught the person who stole one of Jo’s dogs
S7E24: Dwight accidentally fires his gun through the floor; Meredith claims that during the shooting she lost her necklace, a ring, and a painting and will be reporting it to the insurance company; Ryan claims that Dwight’s accident felt like an act of terrorism; Pam claims that Dwight has hidden more weapons in the office
S7E25: Creed parks his car in the middle of the parking lot
S7E26: Dwight admits that he would have created a fake identity for his character of Jacques Souvenier if Jo had hired him as manager
S8E1: Dwight uses a fire extinguisher to knock Meredith off of the top of a bathroom stall, drops a ream of paper on a warehouse employee’s head to get him off a table, and flips a table over to get Toby off of it; Dwight throws Jim’s phone against the wall with force and a shatter is heard; Dwight instigates a fight between nearly everyone in the office
S8E2: Andy says he will streak across the parking lot if the office accrues enough points
S8E3: Dwight pours his drink on the inside of someone’s car; Oscar smashes the car’s window and brake light with a crowbar; Dwight drives the baler through the warehouse wall; Erin and Kevin spread grease all over the warehouse floor; Dwight, Jim, Erin, and Kevin damage multiple boxes of paper
S8E4: Dunder Mifflin billboards across town are shown to be vandalized; Mose crashes Toby’s car into a corn field; Mose very tightly lines up everyone’s cars so that he can run across the roofs (he likely made scratches and dents while planning and executing this plan)
S8E5: Dwight is shown to have brought many weapons into the office in the past as part of Halloween costumes and threatened to kill Toby with them (though the weapons were never concealed and Toby usually confiscated them before he entered the office
S8E6: Oscar stated in an email that he believes that Robert has strangled at least one stripper; Kelly states in an email that they should kill Robert; Dwight’s accountability booster is dangerously close to a form of blackmail; Gabe says that he is going to go to a cemetery and drink (it’s actually illegal to drink in most cemeteries); Pam stops Kevin from hitting Dwight over the head with a frying pan; Jim takes Robert’s phone and attempts to deletes an email (technically illegal to use someone’s phone without their permission)
S8E7: Dwight repeatedly grabs Jim’s crotch
S8E8: A Civil War informational video reveals that the soldiers from Schrute Farm were soldiers that went AWOL
S8E9: When Dwight suggests that everyone in the office is in a suicide cult, Creed strongly denies it, implying that he probably is in one; Jim leaves his car running and unattended in the middle of the parking lot
S8E10: Dwight punches Jim in the arm; Erin asks Andy for Jessica to die; Meredith threatens to drive drunk if Andy doesn’t drive her home; Meredith rides in the back of her van without a seatbelt on
S8E11: Andy asks Oscar to add $800 to their quarterly sales, implying it could be seen as a rounding error; Kevin offers to make that rounding error for Andy
S8E12: Jim drives over Robert’s lawn and breaks his mailbox
S8E15: Jim creates a fake murder scene in his hotel room for Dwight which involved stained towels, knocked over and possibly broken furniture, a writing on the door; Dwight threatens to light Jim’s face on fire; Dwight leaves the hospital with his IV solution bag, which implies he likely didn’t pay for his visit before leaving
S8E16: Gabe sprays an inhaler into Packer’s drink; Dwight damages his hotel room keycard; Dwight sprays a compound of chemicals in Jim’s hotel room creating what he claims is a biohazard
S8E17: Multiple homeless people are sleeping on the sidewalk outside the Sabre store (it’s usually only illegal for homeless individuals to sleep on the sidewalk if a shelter is available); Dwight tells Packer that he should act like a sexual predator when talking to the female teenage customers; a group of children throw pinecones at Andy and Pam, and one of them punches Andy in the face resulting in a black eye; Creed strikes the back of Meredith’s head; Ryan calls his uncle to get a prescription for Ritalin; Kelly attacks Toby and then accidentally elbows Andy in the face
S8E18: Dwight leaves a treasure chest in the office which fires a poisoned dart upwards at whomever opens it; Jim and Dwight tackle and punch each other; Kevin forcibly kisses Meredith
S8E19: Darryl drags Dwight out of his office by his hair; Andy tosses a container of eggplant parmesan onto the street; Andy leaves his car unattended in the middle of an intersection
S8E20: Dwight offers to hit Nellie with a candlestick; Jessica’s friends throw food at Andy’s car
S8E21: Andy smashes the frame holding a picture of Nellie; Andy punches another hole into the wall
S8E22: Andy loiters at the office parking lot
S8E23: Dwight and Jim create a fake identity to work around the commission cap (Dwight even admits that it’s extremely similar to embezzlement or fraud); Harry threatens to choke out Toby; Dwight tells Jim he should dent the hood of Harry’s car or slash the tires; Dwight attempts to activate the elevator’s seismic failsafes to stop the elevator; Pam steals Nellie’s phone and deletes all of her voicemails (technically illegal to use someone’s phone without their permission); Andy tells Robert if he doesn’t hire him back, he will give Prestige Direct Mail Solutions’ business to a competitor (technically blackmail)
S8E24: Kevin and Robert accidentally head butt each other; Andy mops the carpets, likely damaging them; Dwight steals Philip’s used diaper so he can have a paternity test done (this is called gene theft); Angela and Dwight both speed and drive recklessly; Angela hits Mose multiple times; Dwight and Mose both leave their cars unattended in the middle of the street; Robert forcibly kisses Andy; Dwight forces himself on Angela (though seconds later she is a willing participant)
S9E1: Andy threatens to make up a reason to fire Nellie (since Toby is aware of this, if Nellie were to sue Andy, Toby would have to testify against him); Andy purposely pushes Nellie off of the slack-lining rope; Dwight deconstructs Dunder Mifflin equipment to create his trapeze set; Dwight gets stuck on the slack-line and the fire department has to come to get him down; Andy places all of the recycling bins near Nellie and has people throw their trash at her
S9E2: While the building’s janitor is on vacation, the building becomes incredibly dirty to the point where rats can be seen (likely against multiple health codes); Nellie forces Dwight into a situation where he has to chop off her hand (though he doesn’t go through with it)
S9E3: Nellie drives recklessly; Nellie uses her phone while driving
S9E4: Dwight and Toby find EMF hotspots in the office which could imply that there’s poor wiring in the building (depending on how bad the wiring actually is, this could actually break laws); Stanley threatens to spank Clark; Dwight drives the work bus (depending on the type of bus it was, Dwight would need a certain license to drive it); Phyllis asks someone to just start driving the bus while Dwight is on the roof; Dwight drops himself through the rooftop emergency exit on the bus onto Jim; Dwight drives the bus recklessly
S9E5: Creed comes into the office with blood stains all over his clothes (it likely was not his blood, so he may have harmed someone); Andy reveals he had sex with a snowman while at Cornell (would fall under public indecency); Dwight catches Meredith in a net and causes her to fall to the floor
S9E6: Kevin leaves his car in the middle of the parking lot so he can run to the bathroom; Oscar forges documents to make it looks like Kevin has been taking money from Dunder Mifflin; Nellie, Jim, Pam, and Darryl create a situation where Dwight believes that police have surrounded David’s house; Pete’s friend Flipper once drunkenly flipped a table over at a bar
S9E7: Dwight claims he used to have a barber who fought dogs and made dogs fight each other; Clark is used as leverage by Dwight to get Jan’s business (this trade would be dangerously close to prostitution)
S9E8: Dwight reveals that Trevor has had numerous guns stolen from him; Angela hires Trevor to murder Oscar; Dwight claims he has left poop in a paper bag on people’s porches (would be classified as vandalism); Trevor claims that people have left poop in a bag on his porch multiple times; Angela asks Trevor to break Oscar’s kneecaps instead; Trevor brings a concealed weapon into the office; Phyllis taps a stranger on the back with the sharp end of a knife; Phyllis forcibly removes a decorative wine bottle from its base; Angela kicks Oscar in the shin
S9E9: Dwight hits Oscar and Jim with a stick; Darryl collapses on a table and breaks it in half
S9E10: Dwight throws his coffee cup up in the air, likely staining the carpet; Dwight sprays a disinfectant in Erin, Pam, Angela, and Meredith’s faces; Erin tackles Stanley; Meredith reveals that one of her exes keyed a bunch of people’s cars; Meredith also reveals that she pooped into an office shredder; Dwight accidentally sets off an insecticidal grenade (I don’t believe there is a real insecticidal grenade but I’m sure there’s some law against either setting one off or doing so with people nearby); Angela hits Oscar in the head with a coffee pot; Kevin misuses one of the warehouse machines and causes it to break; Dwight accidentally sets off another insecticidal grenade in his car (he most likely still drove his car after while experiencing hallucinogenic side effects)
S9E11: Jim is seen driving a motorcycle (Jim likely did not have a motorcycle license); Dwight suggests that Jim should drive 240 miles per hour so he can get to the office faster; Creed steals Phyllis’ ring; Kevin forcibly lifts Angela up multiple times; Darryl misses a basketball hoop and accidentally breaks a wall lamp and electrocutes a fish tank (though Darryl agreed to pay for the damage); multiple people in the office tear up the carpet flooring
S9E12: Dwight rips open a couch cushion with a knife; Dwight drives one of the delivery trucks (he likely does not have a license to drive the truck); Dwight throws a milkshake through the drive-thru window at an employee; a customer in the drive-thru throws a milkshake at Dwight
S9E13: Dwight reveals that Rolf uses hand grenades to fish; Mose is seen running in the middle of the street (could be considered jaywalking); Dwight reveals that when he was a child, he went to a school that was run by a conman; one of Dwight’s friends reveals that the school used the students as labor; Melvina reveals that she’s been double parked for about two hours; Dwight gives the sales rep applicants Jim’s home address so they can toilet paper it; Rolf tells Dwight to be weary of any suspicious packages he may get, implying that he’ll be sending him potentially dangerous packages; Dwight attempts to suffocate Clarke
S9E14: Frank vandalizes Pam’s warehouse mural; Angela hits Oscar; Dwight and Pam vandalize Frank’s truck; Frank rushes at Pam with the intent to hit her; Brian hits Frank in the face with his boom mic
S9E15: Meredith suggests that everyone in the office should try cocaine
S9E16: Dwight’s Aunt Shirley slaps Angela; Andy snoops through Erin’s phone; Andy kicks Toby; Angela accidentally sets off the hose on Dwight (the hose likely has the same pressure as a firehose, which is about 150 PSI, so this could be considered assault); Toby leaves the prison wearing a neck brace after visiting the Scranton Stranger, implying the Strangler attempted to strangled him;
S9E17: Dwight throws dirt in the faces of Erin, Phyllis, Kevin, Oscar, Meredith, Angela, Stanley, Pam and Jim; Dwight’s brother Jeb drives his car into Aunt Shirley’s grave; Packer reveals he’s in Narcotics Anonymous, implying he used to use drugs; Dwight reveals that his family members have accidentally buried family members who were thought to be dead but were actually in deep sleep; Dwight unloads a shotgun into his aunt’s corpse; Jeb reveals that he owns a worm farm in California (medical marijuana was not legalized in California until 2018); Packer reveals that the cupcakes he gave out to everyone in the office, as well as to Jim and Darryl were laced with drugs, some legal and some not; Packer is seen having parked his car halfway between a handicapped spot and a do-not-park zone; Clarke reveals that while drugged, he defected in some bushes
S9E18: Dwight dumps a bucket of water onto Phyllis, and is likely the same person who dumped a bucket of water onto Andy as well (technically would be classified as assault); Meredith exposes her breasts in the office; Angela slaps Oscar
S9E19: Dwight shoots Stanley with three tranquilizers meant for a bull (horse tranquilizers can cause serious harm to humans, and a bull tranquilizer likely has a higher dosage); Meredith squirts some of the bull tranquilizer into her drink (probably not illegal since she put it into her own drink, but it would be classified as placing a foreign object into an edible, which is actually a felony); Dwight and Clarke accidentally slam Stanley’s unconscious body into two walls; while sliding down a flight of stairs, Stanley’s unconscious body makes a dent in the wall; Andy kicks over an empty trash can; a man at the talent agency claims that through his dog-cat-mouse act, he goes through a lot of mice (allowing your pet to eat live animals can be considered animal cruelty); Stanley tranquilizes himself so that he doesn’t have to climb the stairs
S9E20: Creed smashes a melon on the warehouse floor; Pam accidentally hits Toby in the eye with a paper airplane; Erin reveals that when she was in the orphanage, she once ripped Susan’s pigtails off of her head; Erin crushes a box of packing peanuts; Clarke asks Pam and Jim to share the drugs he think they’re high on; Angela is seen taking rolls of toilet paper from the office
S9E21: Lackawanna County takes away “two sacks” worth of Angela’s cats because she is violating her apartment complex’s pet rules; Dwight throws his briefcase and hits multiple items; Dwight nearly kicks and punches multiple in the office; Andy asks Toby to falsify files; Andy attempts to grope Toby; Andy dedicates on David’s car (this would be classified as vandalism and public indecency);
S9E22: Dwight reveals that his grandmother was shot by Adolph Coors; Dwight throws the summoning bag against the back of Jim’s head; Casey Dean jumps on the back of the a cappella show host; Meredith spanks Darryl; Dwight is seen driving with his police light on his car; Dwight drives recklessly
S9E23: Dwight reveals that Creed faked his own death; Dwight also reveals that the police are looking for Creed as he sold drugs, trafficked endangered animal meat, and stole weapons-grade LSD from the military; Oscar reveals that Kevin used to make up numbers to balance the books; Mose kidnaps Angela and locks her in his trunk for three hours; Creed changes his identity; Ryan reveals that his partner abandoned him and their child; Ryan purposely gives his son an allergic reaction; Kelly and Ryan abandon his son with Ravi; Nellie takes Ryan’s son as her own child (she didn’t legally adopt him so this would be considered child abduction); Pam attempts to sell their home without Jim’s knowledge (since Jim bought the house as a surprise, his name is likely on the deed as well and Pam wouldn’t be able to sell it without him); Kevin spills alcohol all over a cabinet while filling up glasses
submitted by The_DMcI123 to DunderMifflin [link] [comments]

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